Bridal Veil Read online

  “So you’ll get better with practice?”

  She shook her head. “Not appreciably. It’s one of those things where I decided that though I want to be as much like my heavenly Father as I can be, that’s one of the areas where I’ll simply bow to His majesty.”

  “How do you do that?”

  Laurel shrugged, “I try to concentrate on the areas where He gave me talent.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant.” Gabe looked at her intently. “I mean, how do you figure out what He wants of you? How do you bow before His majesty?” His brow furrowed. “It’s all so nebulous.”

  “It’s not always easy to determine what His will is and follow it.” She drew in the details of the collar of Gabe’s shirt and the buttons.

  “Laurel.”

  Something in the tone of his voice caused her to set aside her pad. “Yes?”

  “You and your family talk about God differently. I don’t get it.”

  “What’s different?”

  He shrugged. “I can’t put my finger on it. I go to church. We say grace at mealtime.”

  “Those are things you do,” she said slowly. The conversation took her completely off guard. “Anyone can behave that way—they’re actions. When God calls us to be Christians, we’re to have a change of heart that transforms us.”

  “How do you hear Him when He calls?”

  Laurel stared at Gabe and tried to disguise her utter surprise. All along, she’d assumed he was a Christian. He knew all of the hymns by heart. He was respectful at prayer time.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Yes, her heart screamed. I’ve fallen in love with you, but you’re not a Christian! Laurel moistened her lips and prayed for wisdom. Finally, she looked at Gabe and invited, “Why don’t you tell me about your relationship with the Lord?”

  Gabe tented one knee and propped his bent arm against it. He thought for a moment and heaved a sigh. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess I’m a Christian. I go to church. The other day when you said it all boiled down to thinking Jesus saved mankind from sin, I figure it’s right. As for all the things you say about God and creation—I never really stopped to think about Him being responsible, but it had to get here somehow. So since I agree with you about God being the Creator and Jesus being the Savior, then we see eye-to-eye on the foundational matters.”

  Laurel’s heart ached as he spoke. How can I explain to him that logic and reasoning aren’t the same as faithful acceptance and obedience?

  “It’s just that all of you act. . .” He shrugged. “I can’t describe it.”

  “We each have a personal relationship with the Lord. It’s not just rational acknowledgment of the fact that He exists; we’ve made heartfelt commitments.”

  Gabe studied her intently.

  “God created us with a need to commune with Him. He walked with Adam each evening in the Garden of Eden. When we sin, we separate ourselves from Him. There’s an empty space in us until we are reconciled to Him through Christ Jesus. I think what you sense as a difference is that those of us who have accepted Christ and allowed Him to redeem us no longer seek to fill the void in our lives—He fills it to overflowing.”

  “My life is full.”

  Looking at him, Laurel asked softly, “Is it really?”

  “Yes.” He nodded emphatically. “I’ve never been happier than I am now. Between coming to Yosemite and meeting you, my life couldn’t be any better.”

  “I appreciate the compliment,” she said sadly. “But that’s not enough.”

  “That doesn’t make sense, sweetheart.” He looked thoroughly confused.

  “You want to walk by sight; I live by faith. You’re looking for rock-solid proof, and I listen to my heart.”

  He lifted his hand in a what’s-the-difference gesture. “I don’t see that as such a problem. Even you said folks can believe differently and still get along. Isn’t there some verse somewhere about all the different parts of the body? I guess you’re the heart and I’m the brain.”

  “But when you accept Christ as your Savior, there is a transformation that takes place. You put off the old man and are renewed in His spirit. What difference has He made in you?”

  “Why should there be a big change? I grew up in a home that taught values. I know the Ten Commandments and abide by them. Not to sound proud, but I’m a good man, Laurel. I thought you believed that.”

  “You are a good man, Gabe. I’ve never met a man as honest and kind and capable—”

  “Then what’s the big deal?”

  She looked down at the sketch she’d made of him. Touching it, she said, “I can draw or paint something that looks just like the real thing.”

  “Yes, you can. I admire that to no end.”

  “But it’s still lacking something—it doesn’t truly have the dimension, the spark of life.” She looked at him. “Until we do as Christ said, are born again in the Spirit, we are missing that spark. To have Him dwelling within us gives life a completely new dimension and depth.”

  Gabe stared at her, but she knew he didn’t comprehend what she was saying.

  “I can use all sorts of tricks—by shading and using different lighting and colors, I can make a picture appear to have depth. But those are just illusions. You can attend church and sing hymns, pray, and live a virtuous life, but those are just representations, like a piece of art.”

  He reached over and brushed the tears off her cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

  “You’re missing the most precious thing in life. It breaks my heart.”

  “Sweetheart, I’d do anything in my power to make you happy. I can’t lie to you, though. All of this baffles me. If it’s a matter of me promising to read a Bible or something, I’d do it; but you said it’s not just something a person does.”

  So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. The verse in Isaiah went through Laurel’s mind. She grasped Gabe’s hand. “If I leave my Bible with you, do you promise to read it each day?”

  “I wouldn’t know where to start, but if you give me some advice, I will.”

  “Okay.” She thought for a few minutes. “What about starting with a Psalm each morning and reading through the New Testament at night?”

  He shrugged. “Fine. Only I already know all of the stories.”

  Laurel squeezed his hand. “Don’t read the Bible like it’s a collection of stories, Gabe. Why don’t you read it like you’re trying to get to know Jesus? Study what He does and says as if you were. . .interviewing him to be a business partner?”

  He grinned. “That’s a novel approach. I can see how it would make me look at Him in a different light.” He reached up with his free hand and cupped her jaw. “So is everything better now, princess?”

  Reaching up, she curled her fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand back down. Holding both of his hands, she looked into his eyes and barely managed to whisper, “No.”

  Fourteen

  “No?” Gabe scowled. “What’s wrong?”

  Her beautiful eyes filled with tears again. “I. . .made a terrible mistake.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I let my feelings get ahead of me. You’re so special, Gabriel.”

  “I feel that way about you, too, Laurel.”

  “But I can’t let this go any farther. We aren’t supposed to judge one another, but I did just that. I watched you and assumed you were a believer. Until you give your heart and soul to Jesus, all I can give you is my friendship.”

  “Friendship?” The word tore from his chest in a low bellow. “I’m way past feeling like a friend to you. I—”

  “No.” She halted the words by pressing her shaking fingers to his lips. “We’re going to be apart from one another. We both have a lot of thinking to do. I know deep in my heart what the Lord’s will is. I trust you to do as you promised—to read the Bible and s
tudy the character of Christ.”

  “But what does that have to do with you and me—with us?” He laced his fingers with hers and held tight.

  Laurel bowed her head. “We haven’t spoken about a future. Forgive me if I misspeak, but there’s more to love than just the blending of two hands and hearts.” She seemed to struggle to find the right words. “For Christians, the blending of their souls is the most important thing of all. You and I—we couldn’t ask God’s blessing if we weren’t of one accord.”

  “Hold on a minute. It’s not like I’m one of those Chinese Buddhists or anything foreign like that. I told you: I agree about God and Jesus.”

  Laurel looked up at him. He couldn’t interpret the emotions shimmering in her eyes. “You agree in your head. Let’s see after you read the Bible if you agree in your heart.”

  He didn’t want to let her slip away. Given time, Gabe felt sure he’d be able to allay her concerns. Rather than allow her to walk away and close off her heart completely, he grasped at the one chance she’d left open. “I’ll read, princess. Every morning and evening.”

  That evening, she handed him her Bible. He studied the worn leather at the edges and gave her an amused look. “Well-used, huh?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll make sure I keep up the tradition.”

  Laurel gave him the first smile she’d summoned since their discussion that afternoon. “Thank you.”

  “Hey, Sis!” Paxton hollered.

  Laurel turned. “Yes?”

  “April’s begging to stop for a while tomorrow so she can wade in Bridal Veil Creek.”

  “I’ll fish while we’re there,” Kate volunteered.

  “We’ll have to set out earlier than we planned to do that.” Pax rested his hands on his hips. “So you need to pack up what you can now so we can load up some stuff tonight.”

  “And I thought he was going to ask us to make the biscuits tonight,” Gabe murmured.

  “I heard that,” Johnna singsonged. She merrily announced, “Gabe just volunteered to help bake biscuits tonight!”

  Rather than have their usual nighttime campfire, they all worked to get chores done in advance. Standing alongside Laurel and making biscuits was bittersweet—they did so well together, yet he sensed a gulf between them that he couldn’t bridge. As Gabe fell asleep that night, a tune kept running through his mind. He told himself it was just that they hadn’t had time to sing as they usually did, but the lyrics to “God Is My Strong Salvation” played over and over again.

  At dawn, Gabe got up after a restless night. He took Laurel’s Bible and stalked off for some privacy. She’d recommended he start reading in Psalms. Psalms. I always liked them. David was quite a man. He loved nature the way I do. Gabe settled down, leafed toward the middle of the Bible and located Psalms.

  Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly. . .

  Gabe jolted at the contents of that short chapter. It didn’t mince any words. Flat-out, it compared the righteous and the unrighteous. Laurel was like the third verse—like a tree planted by water. Gabe got the prickly feeling he didn’t quite measure up. The fifth verse said sinners shouldn’t stand in the congregation of the righteous. That’s what Laurel was saying yesterday—that we don’t belong together if I’m not standing right with the Lord.

  Gabe shut the Bible. Everyone at the campsite was already stirring. He went back, took care of his bedroll, and got his horses ready. They all paused briefly for hot coffee, cold biscuits, and a slab of ham. Gabe helped lift trunks and crates into the buckboards, then drew Laurel off to the side.

  She wore her pale pink dress—his favorite. The silly thing was far too fancy for camping, but the ruffles and color suited her. Her sunbonnet hung down her back, and the ribbons pulled a little at her slender throat. Her brows winged upward over her eyes, showing slight surprise. She’d never been more beautiful.

  Gabe couldn’t resist reaching up and playing with one of the tiny curls that wisped by her temple. “Sweetheart, I’m going to leave you today.”

  Her eyes darkened with pain, and her mouth opened slightly, then shut. She bowed her head.

  He tilted her face back up to his. Tears shimmered in her eyes, turning them to molten gold. The sight nearly brought him to his knees. “I read the Bible this morning.”

  The corners of her mouth bowed upward, but she was still blinking back tears.

  “I’m going away on my own to do some reading and thinking.” He cleared his throat. “Until I make some decisions, it’s not right for us to be together. I can’t help how I feel about you. I don’t want to help how I feel about you. Believe me, doing the right thing hasn’t ever been this hard.”

  “I–I’ll pack you some food.”

  “No need. I have the supplies I originally rode in with.”

  To his everlasting surprise, Laurel went up on her tiptoes and brushed a fleeting kiss on his cheek. “God go with you.”

  ❧

  “They’re home!” Cole shouted over by the barn as the wagons pulled in.

  Laurel wearily accepted Daddy’s help to dismount and gave him a hug. Mama hurried over and enveloped her in a hug. “Oh, we missed you!”

  “We missed you, too,” Laurel said. All around her, brothers, cousins, aunts, and uncles were embracing and slapping one another on the shoulder. They’d always been a demonstrative family, and after such a prolonged absence, the emotions flowed freely. But Laurel tried hard to keep her emotions in check. The past five days had tested her to the limit.

  “Sis!” Perry yanked on her skirt. “You’ve gotta come see my horse!”

  Laurel smiled down at him. “Tell you what: I have one last picture on a real Kodak camera. I’ll take your picture sitting on him.”

  “Wow!” He wheeled around and shouted, “Cole! My sister gots a camera. She’s gonna take my picture on Siddy.”

  “I wanna pitcher of me on Quartz!” Cole yelled.

  “City? What kind of name is that for a horse?” Pax asked as he grabbed their little brother and swung him in the air.

  “His real name is Obsidian, but I call him Siddy. He’s black.”

  Caleb finished giving everyone a hug, then mounted his horse again. “I’m going to see Greta.”

  Aunt Miriam yanked his sleeve. “Not until you wash up.”

  “Not ’til you see my horse,” Cole protested.

  Uncle Gideon looked up at his son. “Caleb, family comes first.”

  Obviously peeved, Caleb dismounted. “Greta is going to be family—even if you’re making us wait forever.”

  Wanting to cover the awkward silence, Laurel reached into the basket in the buckboard to fetch the camera and said, “I only have one picture left. You young men will have to all line up together with your horses.”

  As the boys scrambled to comply, Laurel glanced around. Chance Ranch still looked the same, but it felt different. The little boys had turned into—well, not men, but they’d matured significantly. The ranch had always seemed so big, and as ranches went, it was; but compared to the enormous vistas of Yosemite, home felt. . .snug.

  “I can hardly wait to see your drawings and paintings,” Mama said. “The ones the boys sent home are enchanting.”

  Daddy nudged up on Laurel’s other side. He dipped his head and rumbled, “But we want to hear more about this Rutlidge fellow.”

  Laurel almost dropped the camera. As soon as she took the picture, Daddy swiped the camera from her, shoved it into Packard’s hands, and steered Laurel toward his cabin. Mama had hold of her other arm.

  “What did Laurel do?” Craig asked loudly.

  “Hush,” someone said as her parents marched her up the porch and shut the door.

  Laurel wilted into the nearest chair. Daddy paced until Mama stopped him. He turned and glowered at Laurel. “Did that scoundrel steal your heart?”

  “He’s not a scoundrel.”

  Mama’s eyes narrowed. “But your heart—”

  Knotting her hands
in her lap Laurel said sadly, “I love him. He’s a good man—just ask any of the boys.”

  “So you’re just upset at leaving him behind,” Mama said in a tentative tone.

  Laurel shook her head. “He knows about God; he just doesn’t know God. It’s all a rational thing to him. He goes to church and sings the hymns, but—”

  “Oh, Laurel,” Mama groaned.

  Daddy sighed. “Honey, you know better than to keep company with a man who isn’t walking with the Lord.”

  She nodded. “As soon as I realized it, I drew a line.” She paused and tried to swallow back the ball in her throat. Her nose and eyes stung from trying to hold back the tears. “But I was too late. I left my Bible with him. He promised to read it.”

  Daddy came close and pulled her to himself. Laurel rested her cheek against his shirt and gave in to the need to weep. When she finally calmed down, Daddy handed her his bandana. She wiped her face and held the soggy cloth in clenched fists.

  “Honey, I know the pain you’re enduring. Your mama didn’t know the Lord when she came to Chance Ranch. Caring turned into love before I even realized what was happening—but God’s Word is clear about His children being equally yoked.”

  “I know,” Laurel said in a tight voice.

  “I’ll stand beside you in prayer. If Rutlidge seeks to find the truth, it’s all right there in the Bible. We’ll ask the Lord to open his eyes and heart.” He stroked her back. “In the end, Rutlidge has to make his own decision.”

  Mama reached out and held Laurel’s hand. “It wasn’t until I lived among your daddy and Aunt Miriam and the others that I finally saw Christianity in action. Being exposed to those whose lives were dedicated to God made me see the lack in my own heart. Maybe the reason you all went to Yosemite was for the Lord to use you to set Gabriel Rutlidge on the path of salvation.”

  “He talked about coming here, but that was before I told him we could only be friends. I don’t know what he’ll do now.”

  Daddy chuckled.